Nessie explanation ((SPOOF)) too funny not to post - Twilight Series

Twilight Series Nessie explanation ((SPOOF)) too funny not to post

pinkmafia27 posted on Jul 30, 2008 at 03:31PM

Bella: I'm...pregnant?

Carlisle: Yes.

Bella: Pregnant?

Carlisle: Yes.

Bella: Seriously... pregnant?

Carlisle: Is she broken?

Alice: Bella. You are fo shiz up the spout! There's a bun in your oven! Your eggo is preggo and your little Loch Ness Monster is going to be adorable!

Edward:...Uh, Loch Ness what now?

Alice: Noooothing. You'llseewhenshepops!

Edward: Back to the point, Carlisle. How the heck can she be pregnant. My fish don't swim. I'm firing blanks! MY TESTICLES ARE FROZEN!

Carlisle: Well you see... it's because Bella is so hot-

Edward: WHAT?!

Bella: Thanks. -blushes-

Carlisle: Not attractive hot! Temperature wise!

Bella:...Oh.

Edward: I don't get it.

Carlisle: Bella's vaj thawed your peen.

Edward: You're saying cause her *love tunnel* is warm and toastie she thawed out my jizz and made my fish swim again?!

Carlisle: Yuppp. That 'bout sums it up.

Edward: No effin way.

Carlisle: I'm afraid so son. Should've wrapped your tool.

Edward: Bella, you can't keep it... I mean [Idon'twantalittlebratrunningaroundforeternity] it could be dangerous.

Alice: Oh nonsense.

Edward: No but really... it might.. eat her... womb?

Bella: I'm...pregant? *twitch*

Carlisle: Oh someone slap her already...

Alice: Noooo, you might hurt Nessie!!

Carlisle: How would bitch slapping Bella hurt a mythical monster from a Loch in Scotland?

Alice: Oh, um, SHOES! Yes.. shopping. Kthnxbai!

...It could happen.

Twilight Series 42 replies

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over a year ago i_luv_twilight said…

LOL that was frickin HILARIOUS!!!! alice and carlisle r soooo funny!!! lol

over a year ago MidnightEclipse said…

LOL!!! that was so funny!!

over a year ago heyther0689 said…

that was the gayest shit ever

over a year ago Bandgeek_XP said…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
That is SOOOOO FUNNY!!! XD

*LMAO*

over a year ago emmettlover16 said…

OMC!!!
thats hilarious!!!

"is she broken?"
XD

over a year ago ceo07 said…

Thats soo funny it would be cool and hilariously funny if that happened lol loch ness monster awww sweet lol = )
thx for posting

over a year ago movieflower13 said…

"Carlisle: Bella's vaj thawed your peen."
seriously. this just made my entire day.
:-D

over a year ago pinkmafia27 said…

everytime I read it I laugh

this is my happy place

over a year ago twilight_1lover said…

Ha that was freaking funny!

over a year ago timbitzk said…

Ah wow. That was silly. I like how unrealistic it is, because of the vocab they use which they clearly wouldn't in the book.
I agree with Emmettlover (which I tend to do a lot.. maybe it's our love of Emmett that connects us haha), I loved the part where Carlisle's like "Is she broken?"

over a year ago The_Fanpire said…

Wow. SO strange. But I AM smiling.

over a year ago mandavamp said…

Good Lord! That was hilarious! "MY TESTICLES ARE FROZEN!" HAHAHA Love it, love it, love it! I'm still laughing!

over a year ago JGirl1001 said…

that just made everything better!!!

over a year ago w8ing4myedwrd said…

ya
no way that would happen

over a year ago layla_14 said…

This is sooooooooooooooo funny! LOL I can't stop laughing, Edward: Back to the point, Carlisle. How the heck can she be pregnant. My fish don't swim. I'm firing blanks! MY TESTICLES ARE FROZEN! LOL!

over a year ago Bookfreak said…

That is stinking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If that acually were in the book, I don't know how I'll ever finish it, I mean, I'd keep on reading the same page!!! LOL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

over a year ago starry-eyed said…

*cracks up*

over a year ago musiclikelove said…

i can't stop laughing....lol

over a year ago i_luv_twilight said…

omg! it is sooo funny! i laff everytime i read it! carlisle was all like 'is she broken?' LMAO! lol
the ironic part of it is IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED... kinda. i mean bella did hav a baby and everyone called her NESSIE! lol i m still laffing!!! lol

over a year ago Bedward4lyf said…

OMG!THAT WAS FREKING FUNNY.

over a year ago zuntiz said…

I loved it, it should have been in the book, lol ^^,

over a year ago emma-jeff said…

That was hilarious!

over a year ago Fashion_life said…

This was really funny, love it!!

over a year ago Michellebob said…

hehe! Thats really good!

over a year ago kermitroxmysox said…

hahahahahahahaha

"bella's vaj thawed your peen"

!!!!

hahahahahahahaha

over a year ago fanpire101 said…

not funny, disgusting!

over a year ago 21738001988120 said…

that was pretty sad terrible pathetic and sad and terrible and pathetic i hope and pray that i never see something like that agains

over a year ago pinkmafia27 said…

there is NOOOOOO WAY that this was "disgusting" in comparison to what SM wrote in the birth scene in BD.
I choose to stand by the ingenius person who originally posted this on IMDB. She/He was a genius.

over a year ago fanpire101 said…

taht wasnt funny it was disgusting!

over a year ago fanpire101 said…

and i highly disagree with you pinkmafia27!

over a year ago pinkmafia27 said…

oh well. to each his own.

over a year ago Lanna-Lovely said…

Haha, I completely forgot I wrote that on the TwIMDb boards ages ago! (it was when the rumours -which later turned out to be true- about Bella getting pregnant and all that junk started floating around and we were all discussing how he could've got her pregnant)

I love how some people are saying it's disgusting, compared to the shit Smeyer wrote what I wrote was tame. :oP

over a year ago Lanna-Lovely said…

Ooh! And I forgot to ask, who are you on IMDb? (I'm craaaazzzyally)

over a year ago helovesmemore said…

omg
LMAO
that was so funniii
loved it xxxxxxxx

over a year ago edwardcarlisle said…

Wow!!! LOL!!! This is really so freaking funny!!! I really love it! How did you get this? Is so amazingly funny!!!! And, no, I don't think it's disgusting, I think I really love it!